Friday, 13 April 2012

Day Seventeen

Breakfast: scrambled egg with mushroom and quarter of an onion
Lunch: Chicken in mayo and curry powder with some leftover raisins (6 or 7?)
Tea: lardons and fried mushrooms and steamed broccoli and caulflower in butter, with grilled cheddar on top.

Crap day today. My legs were killing me all day - a muscular hangover from four hours of paintballing and laser tag the other night. And after a week of constipation I had diarrhoea all day today. And I was really depressed about having apparently GAINED weight in the last week.

Here's how I was feeling this morning: "I've heard various claims made of the low-carb way of eating, and none of them have held true for me:
1. Aches and pains
OK, so I probably sustained some kind of back injury right at the start, but I had a lot of back pain and now I'm in agony after playing paintball at work 2 days ago. These things have explanations but I'm in a lot of discomfort and I'm not normally prone to many aches and pains.

2. Digestive system. I've heard people make claims about IBS and indigestion, but I was fine before I started this and now I'm permanently constipated.

3. Energy. I've never had a single one of these surges of energy people talk about. I've actually been knackered ever since I started. At first I put it down to staying up late revising for my exam, then having a busy weekend with workshops and a concert, then my period. Those things are all done and dusted now, but I'm STILL exhausted.

4. Weight loss. I haven't had a drop of sugar or alcohol or white carbs for nearly three weeks. I'm sticking to the regime rigidly - my only transgressions have consisted of drinking coffee, occasionally having milk in said coffee, eating the occasional tomato, eating one packet of crisps and a total of nine grapes. I've lost two pounds. I know people say I should be patient, but two pounds? Really?

Maybe this diet just doesn't work for me.

The worst thing is I have no idea where to go from here. I hate giving up, I can't give up yet. I'm going to try giving up coffee and getting even more strict about all the other aspects, but it's hard when there are no rewards.

I feel like I'm just making myself feel like @*&^!? for no good reason at all.

And to cap it all, I've never been a fan of cooked breakfasts or generally eating savoury food first thing in the morning. I like my morning food to be bland, and I've never liked raw cheese. Eggs are the closest I can get to an acceptable breakfast food, but there are an increasing number of mornings when I look at those eggs with misery, wishing I could just have a bowl of muesli like I did every morning for the last twenty years."

It's been suggested that I've actually managed to eat enough carbs in the last week to cause this to happen.

It's true that once I started listing all my little transgressions they looked slightly more than I'd thought: In the space of a week: 1 packet of plain crisps (10g of carbs according to the packet), 9 grapes, a handful of raisins, one tiny black cracker, about two splooshes of milk a day, the occasional fresh tomato, some red peppers, a small quantity of fried onions.

But really? Is that enough to make me GAIN weight?

Some people have suggested that you only have to go a little way over the amount of carbs required to put you into ketosis, and not only will you go back out of ketosis again, but it will last three days and you might start gaining weight.

I really can't make sense of that though.

I've read in various places that 100g per day is a reasonable amount if you're trying to maintain your current weight. And yet I appear to have put weight on by adding 10g or max 20g to my daily carb intake, when the rest of my diet is carb free. And yes, veg can contain carb, but a lot of that is insoluble fibre and therefore doesn't count.

But anyway... if it's true that it only takes this tiny quantity to take me out of ketosis, then how come the IPD book and various others suggest that the initial extreme induction period can then be replaced by a gentler regime, where the carbs are higher and the weight loss is slower - but you are still losing weight?

This just doesn't fit with the theory that you are either in ketosis or you are not, and if you are not then you are putting on weight.

It doesn't add up.

Not least because the occasional grape here and there brings me NOWHERE NEAR my previous carb intake, and yes I am overweight but it has taken me fifteen years to reach this size, and there have been long periods when I've stayed the same or even lost weight, and throughout that whole time I was having muesli for breakfast every day and white carbs with every other meal. And that's not even mentioning my weekly sugar intake. And beer! And crisps. Etc etc

I don't like giving up though. I gave up caffeine again today (for about the fourth time this year), and I'll stop cheating with grapes, etc (sigh). And maybe it's time I started peeing on sticks to find out just what it does take to put me into ketosis. It's really all rather tedious (sigh again). Oh well. No pain no gain. I can't give up yet.

Thursday, 12 April 2012

Day Sixteen

Breakfast: Leftover mushrooms, garlic, walnuts, leftover chicken fried in butter, cream, roule
Lunch: mushroom omelette (2 eggs) + raw spinach
Tea: Ham, fried lardons, cucumber, green pepper, green cabbage, with cheddar, feta, roule grilled on the top.
2 or 3 cups of coffee with milk, 1 or 2 cups of coffee with double cream

Remember those five pounds I lost last week? I put three of them back on again.

None of my circumferences have changed at all, apart from one's 3cm wider and one's 3cm thinner (I forget which), but then it's very hard to get accurate readings - a small change in tape position can make measurements change a lot, and so can a tighter squeeze.

Dispirited, but there you go. Actually I ache all over after four hours of paintballing and laser tag with work yesterday. I don't like paintball! Those bullets HURT.

I'm going to try again at giving up coffee tomorrow.

Wednesday, 11 April 2012

Day Fifteen

Breakfast: mushroom omelette (2 eggs) + raw spinach
Lunch: minced beef fried in onions and mushrooms and red pepper and one tomato, plus tinned toms, + steamed broccoli & spinach
Snack: packet of plain crisps (eek! 10g of carbs according to the packet) (I was at a works outing: paintball and laser tag - and forgot my carefully-prepared tea, and couldn't face removing the topping from the pizza my employers had provided)
Tea: Mushrooms, garlic, walnuts, leftover chicken fried in butter, cream, roule... + cauli steamed in butter
Snack: handful of roasted salted macadamias
2 or 3 cups of coffee with milk, 1 or 2 cups of coffee with double cream

Tuesday, 10 April 2012

Day Fourteen

Breakfast: 2 poached eggs + broccoli
Lunch: chicken, mayo, curry powder, handful of raisins
Snack: 5 salted roasted macadamia nuts
Tea: steamed red cabbage, minced beef fried in onions and mushrooms and red pepper and one tomato, plus tinned toms, with grilled cheddar on top
2 or 3 cups of coffee with milk, 1 or 2 cups of coffee with double cream

I have to say though, I'm getting bored already. The worst parts are having to cook and generally be compos mentis first thing in the morning and make sensible food decisions (for both breakfast and lunch cos I can't afford to buy lunch in shops), and then do food preparation, instead of preparing muesli on automatic pilot. I haven't yet found a suitable breakfast for eating on autopilot every day and not having to think about it. Worst thing was having my parents to stay this weekend and people trying to TALK to me while I was cooking my breakfast. I hate people talking to me first thing in t' morning but I DOUBLY hate people talking to me while I cook. I just burn stuff. Cooking requires my 100% concentration. No distractions.

Apparently at some point I can start eating porridge. I'm looking forward to that.

Feels like I've been doing this forever, and I've only been doing it proper-like for a fortnight. Am not at all convinced I can keep up the sensibleness for the REST OF MY LIFE. I want to eat cake in cafes. [sulk]

Still, at least I've continued to be good. Apart from 4 grapes one day and 5 grapes a few days later. SHOCKING BEHAVIOUR. ;)

Think I'm just having a bit of a whinge cos of time of month. And my back hurts again. And I'm EXHAUSTED after mad swotting followed by mad-busy Easter weekend.

Monday, 9 April 2012

Day Thirteen

Breakfast: bacon, 2 fried eggs, buttered spinach, fried tomato
Lunch: cucumber, celery, red pepper, tomato with cheddar, roquefort and roule grilled on top
Snack: mushrooms fried in butter and cream
Tea: roast chicken, gravy, broccoli, green beans
2 or 3 cups of coffee with milk, 1 or 2 cups of coffee with double cream

Store Your Breasts

A hilarious extract which my mother just read out to me from the Idiot Proof Diet book (p99):

"If you have breasts larger than a 34C, put them in a bin bag. You don't have to throw them away: just store them for the time being. On the other hand, if you're confident with a pair of scissors..."

Sunday, 8 April 2012

Day Twelve

Breakfast: 2 poached eggs, lettuce, broccoli, celery
Lunch: mushroom omelette
Snack: 5 grapes in double cream
Tea: salami, prosciutto, branston pickle, one teeny cracker, olives, blue cheese, yellow cheese: stumbled across a little bar in the northern quarter while looking for somewhere to eat with parents after gospel concert: The only dishes on offer were toasties or "a plate of cheese" or "a plate of meat", LOL!
3 or 4 cups of coffee with double cream

Saturday, 7 April 2012

Day Eleven

Breakfast: fried eggs, sausages, bacon, raw spinach
Lunch: minced beef fried in onions and mushrooms and red pepper and one tomato + butter + cream, plus tinned toms and avocado
Tea: carb-free pizza: salami, red pepper, sliced tomato on bed of buttered spinach, with mozzarella + cheddar grilled on top. Mushrooms in butter and cream on the side.
3 or 4 cups of coffee with double cream

Friday, 6 April 2012

Day Ten

Breakfast: mushrooms fried in cream, 2 rashers bacon, 1 fried egg.
Lunch: one stick celery, roule, two sausages, leftover minced beef fried in onion and mushroom, steamed red cabbage, steamed green leaves
Tea: Tuna salad: Tuna, chopped raw spinach, chopped little gem lettuce, chopped yellow pepper, mayo
Snack: one slice cheap ham
Snack: four grapes (!) chopped into a puddle of double cream
2 or 3 cups of coffee with milk, 1 or 2 cups of coffee with double cream

I have had a rubbish day - been in a crap mood all day. PMT. Hence the grapes in cream. Well, I had to have SOMETHING.

PMT's worse than normal, I don't know if that's the low-carb thing. I just gave my partner a row for chewing nuts too loudly! It was going through me.

Thursday, 5 April 2012

Day NIne - other stuff

My wee is still bright yellow and still smells really pungent.

I have many theories about this (none of which I have actually checked or researched - that would be well boring):

It's because I'm drinking so much coffee.

It's because I'm eating so much avocado.

It's because of all the painkillers.

It's because my body is in ketosis (which it's supposed to be - that's how I'm losing weight - my body is eating itself!).


I'm guessing the ketosis thing is the most likely.

ANYWAY. I gave blood this afternoon. Not sure that was such a good idea, but I told them about the diet (sorry, Way of Eating) and they weren't bothered. Felt quite faint and STARVING for a while afterwards. Feel fine now.

I haven't had any painkillers since yesterday morning. My back is almost better. Now that my exam is out of the way, I can try giving up coffee again. Maybe, but at the moment it's my only vice and it deters me from eating sugar.

edit: After a bit of random googling, I have decided the most likely urine culprit is the vitamin supplements. I also seem to remember that this has happened to me before when taking vitamins.

Day Nine

Breakfast: scrambled egg with double cream and fried onion.
Lunch: Cold roast chicken thigh, chopped avodaco, little gem lettuce, one stick celery, some roule (dipped).
Snack: another cold roast chicken thigh, a slice of ham.
Tea: minced beef fried with mushrooms, onions and fresh tomatoes, served on a bed of steamed red cabbage.

Today was a good day. I passed my exam this morning with a score of 92%. Yay!

And also... I measured my circumferences: Neck, wrists, waist, stomach, boobs, rib cage. The last time I measured them was eight days ago, and I have lost about 4cm in all areas. More in some others! Apart from my "waist". To be honest I didn't really understand why the IPD book recommended that you measure waist as well as stomach. Surely all fat people have the same problem as me: My waist IS my stomach. My stomach's fattest part is where my waist is supposed to be. I really do not have a waist. But anyway when I weighed myself last time I somehow managed to get two measurements, with the "waist" being the smaller one. This time I could only get one measurement, which was definitely the fattest part of my midriff, and was 6cm smaller than last week's "stomach", but a few cm fatter than last week's "waist". God knows. From now on I'm only taking one measurement. But aaaanyway...

Even my neck was smaller! The only thing that hadn't changed was my wrists. So I thought, well, why not? And I got the scales out. And...



..... (drum roll) .....



..... (another drum roll) .....


I've lost 5 lb! Hurrah for that, is all I can say.

But tonight, oh dear, I have massive sugar cravings. It's effectively Friday night, and I've had a doozey of a week what with studying every possible hour I could, and my instinct now, and in all circs like this, is to drink beer and eat chocolate.

What can I have as a treat? I'm tempted to scoff some whipped cream. (shame I can't add Baileys, but there you go...)

Wednesday, 4 April 2012

Day Eight - Cheating

I ate a grape!

My bad.

It did taste ridiculously sweet though.

Day Eight

My wee smells funny and is bright yellow. Has been for days now. Pooed for the first time in days yesterday, but no stomach cramps or bloatedness or adverse symptoms of constipation.

My body must be in a very strange state anyway, because I have been taking masses of painkillers for days for my bad back, and have also gone back to drinking several cups of full strength real coffee a day, because I've been burning the candle at both ends while preparing for my exam. AND my littlest son got ill yesterday and had me up half the night last night, making me doubly sleep-deprived and doubly dosed-up on caffeine. Not ideal I know, but the good news is that today mmy back was much better and I didn't top up after the morning does of painkillers, and even then missed the codeine out. Also my exam is tomorrow and it's bank holiday weekend this weekend, so after tomorrow I can chill out, sleep more and give up caffeine again.

I'm not planning on weighing myself any time soon (see other posts for explanation). I might measure my circumferences tomorrow night. I might weigh myself next week. My trousers have been falling down all day and seem very loose around the waist, but I have a feeling they were already like that.

I have been having the occasional smidgeon of milk in my coffee. At home I have cream, but at work I have milk. And I ate a Ritz cracker tonight. Only one though! Will be good again now, I promise.

Breakfast: avocado + half a chopped fresh tomato + roule (grilled), steamed green leaves

Snack: 2 slices pork tongue

Lunch: egg salad (fresh chives, 2 hard boiled eggs, mayo, half a chopped fresh tomato) + little gem lettuce

Tea: Cod roasted in foil, with parsley and olive oil and sliced tomato and dry dill, served on a bed of green leaves* and parmesan (from a tub), drizzled with olive oil and white wine vinegar. And steamed pak choi.

Didn't fill me up though, so...

Snack: 2 slices ham, 2 slices salami, 2 celery sticks, some roule (for dipping).

*Green leaves freshly harvested from a friend's allotment. I have only a hazy idea of what leaves they are - I just have a plastic bag full of leaves!

Day Seven

Breakfast: poached eggs on bed of buttered spinach

Lunch: chicken thigh, salad (feta, parmesan, tomato, cucumber), raw green leaves

Tea: mushrooms + bacon + walnuts fried in cream + garlic + butter, steamed spinach + broccoli

Day Seven! I think this was supposed to be Measuring Day, but I was too busy swotting for my exam to be thinking about any of that.

Monday, 2 April 2012

Day Six

Breakfast: One sausage, caulimash patties, fried mushrooms, raw leafy green veg (hand picked from friend's allotment yesterday)

Lunch: Leftover chicken pie without the crust, plus leafy green veg (raw) + caulimash

Tea: Mushrooms and ham fried in butter, groundnut oil, double cream, roule, poured on chopped avocado with steamed leafy green veg.

I have an exam on Thursday, have done tons of revision already today, planning on spending the rest of the evening on it. Will basically be filling most of my waking moments this week. Looking forward to getting it out of the way!

Sunday, 1 April 2012

Day Five

SUNDAY 1st April 2012 (scroll down for details of what I've eaten today)

Breakfast was yummy but not entirely filling. Am trying to eat lots of fat but it's difficult - there was loads of oil + butter left swimming on my plate when I'd finished eating, but without bread I couldn't mop it up! How come only carby foods are absorbent? Couldn't think of anything to mop it up with, so left it.

Possibly this is Day Five. Depends how you count it. It's Day Five of my most extreme low-carbing, as on Wednesday I'd finally read the IPD book and as a result had cut out milk in redbush tea, cut out coffee altogether, stopped having a small daily pitta bread, and dramatically upped my water intake. Otherwise for the previous two days I was carb free. I was also low carb on the two days before that: no carbs except daily pitta and muesli every morning for breakfast. And had sweet cocktails with friends on Sat night.

Aaaaaaanyway. I don't yet have any Day Five blues or Atkins flu symptoms or feel any different from previous days. Maybe it's because I eased into this gradually. But maybe that is also why I HAVEN'T LOST ANY WEIGHT YET? Didn't weigh myself today. Am going to try really hard to wait til Wed, which will be Day Eight if you count this as Day Five. Part of me has no faith that this diet will ever work though: I've been 12 stone for four months and it feels like I am doomed to stay that way forever and ever and ever. Certainly don't feel any lighter, and it's hard to believe I ever will be when I'm so hard-wired to believe that eating fat = weight gain, and you can't lose weight unless you go hungry. The worst thing about that is that there are daily occasions when I am hungry for up to an hour simply because I can't think of anything I want to eat or I'm too busy to get roudn to eating. Maybe THAT'S why I haven't lost weight? [sigh]

Cooked some chicken thighs in foil and olive oil / lemon juice / garlic / s+p / herbs in the oven yesterday, to be stored in the fridge for general snacking. Forgot about them when in oven though, so were a bit overcooked. Look crispy and smell yummy though, so might be OK. Also hard-boiled a couple of extra eggs yesterday - also in fridge. Also still have leftover caulimash. Need to make sure all this stuff gets eaten! Did as IPD recommends yesterday: sat down and made detailed list of what I will eat this week, then sent Ally to the shops (my back's too sore) with a massive shopping list, and our fridge is now jam-packed to the gills in a way it never normally is - full of meat, dairy and veg. Might have overdone it! Can I really eat that much in a week?? Oh well, I'm sure the family will help - particularly as they'll be at home all week - the kids are on easter hols and Ally is staying at home with them. Which is presumably why he also bought a ton of biscuits, hot cross buns and snacking nuts. I steadfastly averted my eyes from the sweet stuff.

Breakfast: Fry-up: 2 rashers bacon, groundnut oil, butter, one field mushroom, half a tomato, one sausage, 2 leaves pak choi (steamed), 2 handfuls raw spinach with leftover oil + butter poured on top.

Lunch: Half an avocado with the insides scooped out and mixed up with chopped fresh tomato and roule, the put back in again and grilled - with leftover egg salad (hard boiled egg, mayo, mustard and cress) and caulimash patties and leafy green veg (steamed)

Snack: veggie caesar salad at kro bar - didn't eat the croutons

Tea: Homemade chicken pie without the crust, plus leafy green veg (steamed)